Stop letting flaky friends ruin Vacations. | Passport Kings

Stop letting flaky friends ruin Vacations.

Why are people so Flaky about going on vacations?

Royal Family, when it comes to a family vacation, couples retreat, boys trip, or girl’s trip, don’t you hate when one of the crew or couples decide to flake out?

Their flakiness can put a real damper on the visions you had of how exciting the vacation was going to be. It saddens everyone when that day to getaway is right around the corner and one of the main people you were looking forward to chilling with is nowhere to be found.

Friends that were not Flaky on Vacation in Dominican Republic

Sometimes they’ll start giving little hints that they are about to back out with only a few days left to departure.

Why are people so Flaky when it comes to Vacations? Don’t they realize that if they just came, not only would they enjoy the trip, but by not being there, they’re undermining the experience that everyone who's going is planning to share?

Today we will take a look at the psychology of flaky people. Then I'll give you some tips on how to spot the flaky hints people are giving, how to respond to them when they start flaking, how to stop them from flaking (If you can), the surprise benefits of having people be flaky, and what to do about flaky people to make sure this never happens to you again.

Why are People so Flaky?

To be honest, the age of social media has increased flakiness to an all-time high. People who are living their lives online have become incredibly anti-social in real life.

The anxiety levels of regular people having regular conversations are completely out of control.

According to Medical News Today:

“Social media may trigger feelings of inadequacy. People may feel as though their life or appearance does not compare favorably with that of others on social media, leading to feelings of envy and dissatisfaction.”

Social Meda is not only a problem with teenagers when it comes to having social skills in the real world. It’s a problem with adults too. Many times adults won’t have these feelings creep up on them until the date of a vacation starts starting them in the face.

Picture of the Passport kings Facebook Page

I think Anxiety is the main reason for flakiness before a trip but there are other reasons people feel the need to back out.

Sometimes they just don’t like being around you that much!

The thrill of talking about going away and spending the week at an island paradise may have only been their way of making small talk. They were not taking the conversation seriously, they were just passing the time. This happens a lot when people are at work or in a social setting where drinking is involved.

Right after the plans start to seriously develop, they will start regretting even letting the conversation get that far.

These people will sometimes not have the courage without the liquid courage to let you know that they were just yapping to be yapping.

When an older dude invites a chick he’s been eyeing, away for the weekend, many times the dude will be expecting sex in return for his international tricking spree.

If a chick doesn't like you in this country, she not going to automatically become sexually attracted to you on a remote island either.

Instead of saying this outright, many women choose to flake when the time comes, in order to avoid the whole uncomfortable situation.

On Boys or Girls Trips, There are some people that would like to get away with you but they know the types of deviant things that you like to partake in while out of town

and It makes them uncomfortable. 

Chasing sex after they’ve decided to be faithful to their spouse at home is a big one.

They know the "Demon Time" that you're on and they may have outgrown it, or would only want to be an international, sex-starved lunatic if they were to find someone who is truly interesting to them.

Being criticized for not using the vacation for sexual shenanigans may stress them out right before the trip.

Could it be your expectations of them that are making them flaky?

Also, in general, they may not be able to afford what it would take to make the vacation worth it.

People can sometimes underestimate the cost of Travel, Hotels, Food, Entertainment, and Excursions.

When the price tag is presented to them, they may not have saved enough or they may feel it’s more than they are willing to spend.

Stop letting flaky friends ruin Vacations

You have to realize that while most people are on vacation, they're not only spending money, but they're also losing money because they're not home and at work.

If that’s you, some great ways to make money while traveling can be found in my Free Ebook called make money online so you can travel more.

I’ll put a link to this free ebook above.

And if you're getting value out of this video, make sure you hit the like button so It can send Youtube some positive signals about my channel.

And if you haven't yet, hit subscribe and press the notification bell.  

Some of your friends may love the idea of going to a Tropical Paradise with you, but when they find out who else you're inviting, the flakiness may start building up.

Their stomachs will be asking them the famous question “Who all are going to be there?”

Having social interactions with the crew you’ve assembled may be stressing them out.

Some habits your other friends have might be cool with you, but sometimes the crew you’ve gathered really can't stand each other.

Or maybe they don't mind your other friends but are just not looking forward to being cooped up with them for the 5-10 days on Vacation. 

They would probably never associate with each other if it weren't for you.

Instead of telling you that they don’t like your other friends, they may just start conjuring up a master plan to flake out on you.

One more thing that could cause people to become flaky at Vacation time is Body issues.

This especially goes for some women.

No one wants to be the fat one in the Instagram picture.

Not flaking while horseback riding in Jamaica

How to tell someone is about to flake out on the vacation.

People tell on themselves when they're about to flake out on Vacation Plans.

They’ll always start giving hints when you bring up the subject of the getaway. They will say things like:

  • These bills are getting serious over here

  • My baby father's been tripping lately.

  • I heard they’re kidnapping people out there.

  • Did you check the weather for the days we’re going to be there?

  • My friend went there and they said it's overrated.

  • My Kids are (Insert Excuse here)

Some of these excuses may be legitimate but when added on to the reasons I’ve mentioned above, it will justify, at least in your friend’s mind, why they will not be able to make it.

At least when they start telling you these things, you’ll know to get prepared for what I like to call "Flakester Jones".

How do you respond to a flaky person?

So what do you do to keep the travel plans together?

Sometimes you will need to guilt-trip them by letting them know that the Vacation would be so much better with them than without them.

You can make this conversation about how much their being there will mean to you.

You can probably talk about how much sharing this adventure will be more exciting as a team rather than you having to go it alone.

But what I’ve found is that people are self-centered and will hold tight to their excuses when you tell them how their decision not to go, is ruining the vacation for you.

Your best bet is to tell them how going will benefit them.

As they start to hint about not going, this is your opportunity your turn the tables and start hinting to them how much they will miss out on by not going.

Stop letting flaky friends ruin Vacation

How do you stop someone from being flaky

Videos and Pictures!

People hate not being in the picture with you on a tropical island that you share on Instagram.

Use their addiction to social media and dangle the likes and follows that they will miss out on if they don't go.

Another thing to do when you start noticing flakiness in their sentences is to start talking about how important it is for humans to stick to their words.

If you don’t know any famous quotes, here is a list of 24 quotes from that you can make into memes, put on your social media, and share with them daily.

Then use reverse psychology and talk them into giving a speech about how sticking to your word is so important.

Bring up a time when someone disappointed them by breaking a promise, so they can subconsciously jump on your side in the fight against flaky people.

If you know they're having a body issue, get a cheap gym membership with them so you guys can work out together leading up to the trip date.

Tell them to download a calory counting app then start a competition with them to see who can lose the most weight within the days leading up to the getaway.

I personally lost over 20 lbs using this method.

I hardly lifted any weights.

All I did was walk on the treadmill for 1 hour every day for about 2 and a half months.

I also made sure I didn't go over the calories that the app decided I would need to lose the amount of weight I wanted to lose in that time period.

It was honestly a really easy process.

I played candy crush while walking on the treadmill at the gym and by the time my 5 lives were over, the hour was almost up. Then I played Candy Crush Soda!

Additionally, I found fresh pre-made dinners at my local Kroger and Publix supermarkets.

They have the calorie count right on the top of the package. Type those numbers into the App and you will be amazed how much and what you can eat without going over your daily calorie limit.

Simple fish dinner

This could be considered manipulation, but in the beginning, they said they wanted to go.

If you were trying to coerce them to go after they told you from the start that they had no desire to go, then would it be wrong.

You can just consider it motivation. 

If worse comes to worst, just let it be known that short notice flakiness will critically impact your plans, especially if anyone was going to share rooms.

  • Get them heavily involved in the planning process. 

  • Make them choose the Hotel.

  • Make them plan the excursion you will do.

  • Add them to Facebook travel groups.

  • Send them Youtube videos from people who have done reviews about the destination.

  • Show them pictures of your past vacations and tell them stories about how they changed you.

  • Go out to dinner before the trip with all of your friends and discuss the trip

  • Send them articles, podcasts, videos, and even some rap songs about dealing with anxiety.

The Pros of people flaking on you

Sadly, all of this information may still not help the situation.

Some people are just flaky and un-adventurous. The good thing is this may make your vacation better in all sorts of ways.

People who were flaky but were still brought along on vacations can be a real drag. They will find the negatives in everything that happens.

Negative talk can put a real drag on everyone and bring down the whole experience.

Flaky people will be unprepared financially for the vacation and may wind up needing you to front them some money while promising to "pay you back when yall get home."

This takes away from the money you budgeted for your own expenses for this trip.

People who were flaky about going on trips abroad are usually to blame if there is any conflict between anyone in your crew. They will be standoff-ish and easily irritated by everyone and everything.

This is no way to spend the week. 

They may not attack others directly, but others may get fed up with their passive-aggressive foolishness and attack them.

No one wants an international conflict.

If someone is being flaky, sometimes you have to say fuck-em and go on with your plans without them. Ask them kindly to let you know as soon as possible that they're not coming.

Even if you won’t be with others, more and more people are realizing that solo travel is not the end of the world and it creates certain freedoms that I wrote about in this post from a few years ago.

If someone flakes out on you while planning your vacation, it’s really not the end of the world.

Stop letting flaky Friends ruin your vacation plans

Should you cut off Flaky Friends

You should absolutely NOT cut off Flaky Friends. 

I’ve learned a lot of things in my years on this earth. 1 that I live my life by is “People Are Different.” Meaning, what makes me happy will not make others happy. No 2 people are 100% alike.

I’ve also learned that certain zodiac signs like Capricorns get very agitated, the further they get away from their home.

Taurus are stubborn people. Once their mind is made up about not going on holiday, Thanos himself, even with the mind stone, would have a hard time getting a Taurus to change their mind.

Sagittariuses feel like they have to be the leader of whoever they're around. They may flake out simply because they weren't the person who planned the trip. 

Next time you're walking with a group that includes a Sagittarius, watch how they insist on walking in front of everyone, lol.

Oh yeah, and Scorpios are evil (That has nothing to do with the topic but I figured I’d just let everyone know, lol)

If you want to learn more about how signs can sometimes predict people’s behavior, visit this site and try out their questionnaire.


The videos that I attached to the end screen shows some of the fun I had on vacation with a semi-large group.

Of course some of the people who were supposed to go flaked out at the last minute.

Of course, they used one of the excuses I mentioned earlier but I think their anxiety about being in unfamiliar surroundings played a bigger part. 

There are a lot of methods to eliminate anxiety from your life. I plan on doing another video going over how anxiety can ruin more things than a trip - like typical social interactions (and even sexual performance.)

So make sure you're subscribed.

But for now, at least you know how to deal with flaky friends when it’s time to explore the world, like a King...



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My name is Roklan. I'm a travel advisor. I make Passport Kings Travel Videos to inform, preview and excite you about Vacation Destinations and other travel-related information. Discover, Preview and Book Travel with Passport Kings

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